| What has been on my mind lately: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001519.cfm It's a long one but a good one. |
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| right now. right now. i don't know about life. well, i know about life. but i don't know how i feel about life. temporarily. really temporarily. you know sometimes you just get in those moods. i just watched that movie Alpha Dog with elizabeth. she picked it out and i thought it would be alright, so we rented it. it's not that big of a deal i guess, but i really didn't like it. it just upset me. more than any movie i've seen in awhile. and obviously movies don't change what happens in your life, but sometimes for a short while they change how you feel about what happens in your life. i just feel this empty, dull, uncertain sadness. it's not overwhelming, but i just feel like sitting and staring off into the distance. i feel like a dimly lit hotel room with bad green vinyl furniture and a TV on with that black and white fuzz. it's not like things don't make sense. it's like things make too much sense. you think about things so much, you just get tired of it. it's like this. sometimes you have to make choices. and you know you have to make them, so you make them and you try to make the right ones. but it can wear you out, you know? man. i don't know. it builds character, right? it's stupid to complain about making right choices. at least you've got your head on straight enough to know what to do. what i'm tired of is all these choices. there shouldn't be so much wrong to choose from in the first place. every day you have to make a choice between wrong and right. and sometimes you choose right and sometimes you choose wrong. i guess you can't have right without having wrong. but why can't we just always see that what's right is best for us? why do we have to mess up? and why is it that even when we do the right thing, everything isn't always right? all i can do is cling to what i know and go with it and let the consequences fall into place without worrying. sometimes that's what doing the right thing is all about. |
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| My heart is broken. The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone (yeah oh oh)
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to -Ginny Owens |
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